i used to blog without much care and concern.just letting it all out.i was never one to put my guard up and be wary of what other's thought.what has age done?it has simply taken away my ability to express fully who i am and what i feel.i have become too concerned about what society thinks.about how it sees me as an individual.i have become worried that if i went out of the mould i would become a social outcast.the government advocates thinking out of the box but it doesn't really allow it.just take a look at speaker's corner.it's like a historical monument.despite having authority of it transferred from spf to nparks,it is an unused piece of land.nobody is brave enough to step up and speak out for fear of being a social outcast like csj and jbj.on a much smaller scale.schools have this thing called a student forum but how effective is it?when a student speaks up his words are only met with "yes,we will think about it" by the panel.i have been subjected to this.i spoke up and my voice was simply not heard.itso back to how i am so guarded now i don't blog about anything but the frivolous nonsense in my life.i feel it is all the years of speaking up and not being heard that has made me this way.i feel that the times when i spoke up and was ridiculed or condemned for being either too bimbotic or too bitchy that has made me put up the walls around my mind.i don't want people to simply agree.i want to be challenged to think outside the box.i want to speak and be heard and challenged.i am sick of people either saying i am totally wrong or i am totally right (this does not happen often).i want to speak and evoke emotion.i want my views challenged.but we cannot ever have the cake and eat it can we.we can never have what we want.i think i have totally digressed and it's time to shower before i go out for night study.goodnight world.ilykthxbye,