the haven
in the corner
dark and secluded

the escape
at the back
unseen and forgotten

the shelter
from prying eyes
warm and safe

it eludes
it dodges
it skips
me.

thanks for lunch babe.and the bad singing

11 out of 16 ain't too bad right.

threesomes.3stooges.3musketeers.(un)holy trinity.

random.my class is random.and i was the chairperson.oh wait.that explains everything.

me hearts upkirting.
hehehe.class gatherings make me happy cause i get to see my loved ones and be utterly crazy and without a care.just some pictures of the crazy things 0643A does.and some very overdued pictures.heee.




i got bad bad bad headache )): and like flu and sore throat.i know you're laughing at me and saying i totally brought it upon myself with the late nights filled with licorice macadamia nut cookie dough and menthol.but i am still happy.had a fruitful and fun shopping trip.got my wrap pants and wallet after procrastinating for donkey centuries.going to get my vintage black bag from online seller tomorrow.i'm a happy girl.i can't wait for class gathering.lol.haven't seen everyone in damn long and like seriously wonder how people have changed.lol.i forsee it to be a fun night.haha.will be going shopping with ocs boy before that.he needs to get winter wear for his ocs trip up to taiwan.and i shall bat my eyelashes like there's not tommorow so he'll be nice and let me benefit from his ocs pay.i'm a seriously lhl.i think i'm going to like bat my eyelashes at my mum to get her to massage my pretty little head for me.ilykthxbye.


tomorrow.i love you tomorrow.you're only a day away.i think i blog way too much.but i'm just so ridiculously free this week after last week's major mugging.despite the bumps earlier this week this week seems set to end on a high note.and i suppose i'm back into the whole writing thing.trying to do haiku.i like the brevity.wrote today while my dearest baby slept in lecture.econs lecture is a natural sedative man.serious.if you have insomnia you should go for econs lecture.you will get some serious sleep done.lol.

caramel cheshire cat.
sunning.slow.
slits for eyes.
purrrrring.

ilykthxbye.


haha.i am super happy and high.lol.
the things that make me happy
1.torts
2.octoradio
3.brushing my hair
4.yanneh (elephant) sweets.
faisal alsolutely loves me lo.and for that he batu-batu (rocks).i am on a sugar high.tralalala.smile people.it's gonna be a brand new day.ilykthxbye.


hi you.lol.can't believe i actually wrote this.it's supposed to be about running.might not really make sense because i try my absolute best not to run ever.enjoy.ilykthxbye.

rhythmic dull thuds accompany me
yellowed lights guiding
whistling in the night air
the moon hangs pregnant and low
quietly mocking.

nothing on this endless path
a rollercoaster.up.down.flat.up.
the darkness a respite,a haven
a cover for my ungainly tread
enveloping.

pain numbing everything.
ends of hair to tips of toes
moving in imperfect harmony
fighting the creeping pain
winning.losing.

face forced forward and up
breathing laboured.
heart thundering.skipping beats
maintaining composure?
not really.

an end in mind
but it's not near
it seems to have moved.
further.farther.
disappeared...


i am irritated.beyond the point of vulgarities.seriously.i don't mind if you want to take out my laundry and put it in my laundry bag once it's done.however this is totally not what you did.instead i believe you thought it would be funny and in some perverse way flattering.it wasn't.you opened up the washing machine my laundry was in,took out the netted bag in which i put my undergarments and put in someone else's laundry bag.i am flabbergasted.we are all university students.i believe that it is only normal of me to expect you to not do such a thing.i'm just stunned.to whoever the culprit may be in Nanyang Technical University Hall of Residence 8 Block 42.i hope to the point of no return that you get red ants biting your balls until my anger subsides.

on another utterly unrelated note.will someone please love me so much and buy me a nice wallet.something small will do.doesn't have to be expensive.just a basic wallet with compartments for notes,coins and cards.
yanni.


oh happy day.oh happy day.just some pics today.the sun rocks.the sun as in the 24hr convenience store.i had like macadamia nut.yummy yummy yummy i got love in my tummy.and seri.thanks ah.thankssss.he prolly thinks i'm like desperate or something.diess a miserable and horrid death.and jay also lo.accomplices the two.
neh.look so nice and innocent.more like wolf in sheep's clothing can?i am so going to have a hot bod by the end of this sem lo.fucking go for touch and hall cheer back to back.killing my whole body ah.but like my size 8 shorts now so loose that i can put both fists in?!kwakwakwa.ok.not making sense.like serious brain deficiency.anyway to my dearest baby (you know who you are).don't so sad ok.watch wonder girls with you.then can do the steps and be happy.lol.smile everyone.today's a brand new day.(ok fine not so new.like 14hours old ready but better than nothing rightt.)heee.ouh yah.i think i don't look like malay or javanese.opinions?it explains why everyone speaks to me in chinese.ntu is cheenapok land.like pok until cannot pok anymore.but hss library rocks.the toilet is the bomb ok.fucking seat heats up when you sit on it.water spray your butt when you shitte finish and got warm air to dry.butt dryer.fucking the bomb.i love hss library...TOILET.haha.ilykthxbye.


i will post a happy post.soon.


dear mind of mine, please stop thinking unnecessary thoughts concerning what has happened and let me concentrate on the here and now i.e. school.you need to stop making thoughts that wander from what i made you think about at first.please be a sweet and nice mind and compartmentalise all the thoughts that i can do without for now and keep them in the far recesses of your entity.dear mind,i don't mean to assume but i'm quite sure you know what i mean right.anyway please try to cooperate.life will be so much easier and you won't feel the aftershocks from me banging my head because you refuse to rest.thank you mind.


having not seen you for so long made me forget how vulnerable i get just from seeing your face.i miss you.


to forgive (i think) is human,to forget is divine.i have forgiven you what you did but i just cannot forget how you made me feel and how through it you killed all the trust that i had in you.talking to others made my doubts and mistrust of you only grow with each day.i tried.tried to act normal but i simply cannot pretend that i was not hurt by your rash actions.i know i have no right to speak of rashness.and i am not making an exception here.all i am merely pointing out to you is that i may have forgiven you but the trust is lost.the love is gone.the comfort i feel when i am around you is negated.you have become a stranger to me.it disheartens me that 6years of being my friend did not equip you with the ability to discern my likes and dislikes.how could you call yourself my friend and not have known that i would never have thought that what you did was funny in any way.i just don't get it.maybe what smh told me so many years ago is true.maybe i should have listened to mabmy when he told me not to trust you so much.i really don't know anymore.harapkan pagar,pagar makan padi.that's how i feel.betrayed.


it's just time.it will pass.just like you did.or rather how i felt about you,the one who calls me sleepy brown.ANYWAY...come to Lot 1 this weekend and give me big fat hello at the M1 roadshow.ilykthxbye.


i used to blog without much care and concern.just letting it all out.i was never one to put my guard up and be wary of what other's thought.what has age done?it has simply taken away my ability to express fully who i am and what i feel.i have become too concerned about what society thinks.about how it sees me as an individual.i have become worried that if i went out of the mould i would become a social outcast.the government advocates thinking out of the box but it doesn't really allow it.just take a look at speaker's corner.it's like a historical monument.despite having authority of it transferred from spf to nparks,it is an unused piece of land.nobody is brave enough to step up and speak out for fear of being a social outcast like csj and jbj.on a much smaller scale.schools have this thing called a student forum but how effective is it?when a student speaks up his words are only met with "yes,we will think about it" by the panel.i have been subjected to this.i spoke up and my voice was simply not heard.itso back to how i am so guarded now i don't blog about anything but the frivolous nonsense in my life.i feel it is all the years of speaking up and not being heard that has made me this way.i feel that the times when i spoke up and was ridiculed or condemned for being either too bimbotic or too bitchy that has made me put up the walls around my mind.i don't want people to simply agree.i want to be challenged to think outside the box.i want to speak and be heard and challenged.i am sick of people either saying i am totally wrong or i am totally right (this does not happen often).i want to speak and evoke emotion.i want my views challenged.but we cannot ever have the cake and eat it can we.we can never have what we want.i think i have totally digressed and it's time to shower before i go out for night study.goodnight world.ilykthxbye,


fasting has always been difficult.it's truly an uphil task.you're fine in the morning but once noon hits your energy keeps getting lower and lower.it's particualerly difficult this year.well for me at least.because i'm staying in hall.no.i do not regret staying in hall one bit but it is difficult to make yourself get up and eat something in the morning.and it is truly quite depressing.and not only do you sahur alone you break your fast alone 2 hours after you can.i suppose this is one of those things that will make me tougher.and seriously learn how to stand on my own feet.oh well.enough of being so self-pitying.i forsee it to be a good week.had productive training yesterday.and i have yet to see the person who probably thinks the ground i walk on is heaven on something because he just cannot stop staring and making me uncomfortable.and i am seeing yi-bin dearest after tens of thousands of donkey centuries.and i'm going to get pretty stuff from her.and i have m1 roadshow at lot1 from 5-7 sept so drop down and give me a smile.and i'm FINALLY getting my pay after going through so much hassle.yes.i shall look on the bright side of life.think pink babies cause today is be pink day!!ilykthxbye.